he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
