Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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