is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
