I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
