Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize