She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
