5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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