if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
