yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
