how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
