so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
