yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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