i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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