did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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