I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
