do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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