You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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