We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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