if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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