Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
