Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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