saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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