She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
