That's intense
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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