Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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