she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
