Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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