at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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