Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
