how can u be prego again
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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