You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
