i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
