I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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