Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
