Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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