i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
