think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
