I love black thongs
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
apparently the secret to your success is patron
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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