Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
