Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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