I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
