So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize