her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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