my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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