I must be too annoying 4 u.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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