Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
