When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
