Me too!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
