Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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