Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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