my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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