spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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