this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
