How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
