Its about making memories worth repressing
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
