where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
