we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
