Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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