I want to stick my p in your. b.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
