We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
