Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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