i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
