I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
