Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
