I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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