That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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