if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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