We're like a lot better than the average bears
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
