no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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