just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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