I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
