I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize