was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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