So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's like iHOP with fire
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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