He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
